About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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