yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
