so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I am midnight drunk by noon
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
