I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
