Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
