u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
