Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
we're making bets on your personal life
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
