Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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