May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
