i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize