In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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