I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize