Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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