Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
