Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
