was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
