lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
