Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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