He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize