first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
