I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I think people are normalizing furries
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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