I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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