At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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