Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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