waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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