Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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