Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
