Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
