i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
