dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
