i think i have two assholes
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
