walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
