Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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