I must be too annoying 4 u.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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