i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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