I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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