and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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