he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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