if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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