Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
