quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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