Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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