We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
