Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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