Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
