The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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