I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
