Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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