How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
