And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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