dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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