Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Randomize
