Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
