Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
