If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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