Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
