Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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