people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
