it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
