I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
