just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
