these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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