Just fell off a train. Bad.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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