Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You are the jesus of drinking
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
