Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm just crazy horny about you
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
