that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
