I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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