Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
