Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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