On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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