Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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