Quick, to the slutcave!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
