After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
