so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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