I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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