There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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