dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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