and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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