I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
