cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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