Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
