the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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